Top 10 things that would happen to you if you visited Salem, the fictional setting of Days of our Lives

I've heard through the New York Post that Days of our Lives will possibly be cancelled. On such a sad occasion, Kathy and I would like to honor this show's long and storied history with a little Top 10 list to think about when visiting this bustling New England hamlet.

When visiting Salem, ...

10. Your evil twin would probably abduct you and pretend to BE you in an effort for to impregnate herself/kill your husband.

9. Your child/younger sibling may age drastically from toddler to teenager in the coarse of one semester of study in Salem's boarding schools.

8. Mind control may be used to turn you into as a serial killer in order to destory enemies of local billionaire, Stephano DiMera.

7. You may be killed by a masked serial killer only later to be found alive on a deserted island.

6. The Devil may cross your path and posses you, but you'll be fine as long as you're with your TRUE love (that season).

5. Fainting may occur and reult in a concussion; once awake, you have amnesia and fall in love with your half-brother only to find out AFTER you kiss.

4. You or your friends/family may be recast by a completely different person, but you will not be allowed to acknowledge the change.

3. It becomes apparent to you that you were sent away as a child to grow up with friends of your family that couldn't have kids; in truth, you are indeed a Horton.

2. You are invited to take a boat ride with local madman and be held captive there for at least a month (soap time: several hours).

1. You become romantically linked with both John Black and Bo Brady instigating a cat fight with Marlena Brady, Hope Williams, and yourself most likely resulting in your 2nd death and possible 2nd resurrection due to the fact that your body was lost on the way to the morgue.

Long live Salem!